brittany ([info]xkiss_me_oncex) wrote in [info]accept_yourself,
2005-07-15 19:07:00
  • Mood: shitty
  • Music: creep-radiohead

FUCK

shit im finnally using this community for what its about instead of just diplayiong ideas.


i ALREADY fucked up. i binged so bad. i ate like 4 slices of pizza and 3 cookies. i new what i was doing and i still did it. i tried to purge but it wouldnt come up...i tried for close to an hour...nothing happend...like a little tiny bit and spit. so then i felt twice as bad. i put on creep- by radiohead and just started crying.....im still crying...i hate myself for this..why cant i just look like everyone else....

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  • 6 comments

[info]ex_amfora

July 16 2005, 01:58:08 UTC 6 years ago

I'm sorry you feel bad.. *BIG HUG!!*
Please don't do anything stupid though....
I hope you realize that you dont have to look like anyone else, but also that bingeing is unhealthy for you...Do you know why you binged? Usually if I know why, I can correct the behavior next time. Or.. if not, do you need help figuring out your trigger?
<3

[info]xkiss_me_oncex

July 16 2005, 03:15:27 UTC 6 years ago

i could use some help figuring out why i do these things actually...im not really sure.....i get lonley or if even the smallest thing goes wrong, it doesnt matter what it is i either start gorging myself or stop eating entirely or make myself throw up.....any one of the three and it usually lasts for weeks at a time..and i guess i just happen to be on my binging week and its driving me nuts....im going to start updating with what happens before i binge and after and will you help me figure out what my trigger is? (sorry if u didnt understand that, im kinda worked up, have been all day)

[info]ex_amfora

July 16 2005, 21:12:42 UTC 6 years ago

yes sure--you should update about how you feel before and after...I will...take a look, and tell you what i think.
:)

[info]aggie_leah

July 16 2005, 03:11:07 UTC 6 years ago

I'm so sorry your having such a rough time! *HUGS* Sometimes you just screw up and there is nothing you can do about it. It's okay, it happens.........I'm praying that things will get better soon! You deserve it! Keep trying! *HUGS*

[info]xkiss_me_oncex

July 16 2005, 03:16:35 UTC 6 years ago

thank you and i will keep trying

<33

ps. i havent heard from you in a while, i mean i know ive been on vacation but i was checking the posts and everything and i never saw one of yours...i guess your just buisy? whats going on lately with you?

[info]aggie_leah

July 16 2005, 03:21:23 UTC 6 years ago

I actually took an LJ break for a couple of weeks....I just posted an entry in this community yesterday. Lots of good things have been happening for me lately. Recovery has been super super super tough, but definitely worth it.
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